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Not all men are dogs, bad or mean and cruel to women. Some men are good – like real good – and like to good to be true; but the women that they are with punishes them and brings them down with a vengeance.

By

Darrell V. Freeman, M.A.

(Author, Relationship Coach & National Speaker)

Every woman doesn’t deserve to be with the man that she is with. After all, she may not be all that the man thinks that she is before they get together. For example, when you think about cars, she may be your get out and push trying to ride in your Cadillac. Yes, I said it! There are men that are too good to be with the women that they are with. In other words, she is not good enough or right enough for him. It is not a perfect fit in every sense of the word. It just looks like it, feels like it and appears to be like it but it is not. There are myths out there about men today and a couple of those myths are:

  • There are no good men!
  • Good men are hard to find!
  • Where are the good men today? As if they are not out there anywhere.

The truth is that there are far more good men out there today than you can image. However, that doesn’t mean that you deserve one. In the same way that men have hurt, abused, taken advantage of, not appreciated, messed with, sexually lured and used and mentally, emotionally and physically sucked women into their games and their nothingness or fake-ness – there are women who have done and are doing the same thing to men today.

The problem is that if you treat a good man like a no good man, then you will never reap the benefits of all of his goodness. Some people just don’t deserve to be with the person that they are with but they won’t let go. Not letting go only makes matters worse for you, your partner and the children if you have any.

Now more than ever before there are men that are hurting and afraid to get into another relationship for fear that it could arouse the same feelings and stuff that has him where he is today. Saddened, disappointed and wondering if there is ever going to be a Ms. or Mrs. Right for him.

Suggestions:

  1. Get to know what your man is thinking
  2. Learn to treat him like him (who he is and what comes in his personal package) and not like them (the other men that are out there who may even have done you wrong)
  3. Give him everything that he deserves and not only what you think he wants
  4. If you have a man that talks or is willing to share, let him talk and don’t beat him up as he is doing it or after he talks either
  5. Be a good woman so that you can enjoy a good man and enjoy your lives together

 

How Men Think About the Woman They REALLY Like

You want to know what men want…in a woman they like.  You want to know how to attract men who will actually like you and eventually love you deeply.  You need to know how men think when they are with a woman they truly like.  Well in this post, I want to give some relationship advice for anyone dating men or wanting to know how to get a man to like you.

Guys like girls and girls like guys but how do you really know, if you are dating a man that Likes You? What do guys want — or at least your guy — and is it YOU?

Understanding men is a process of learning how men think about relationships and how men think about women (and how men think about dating, which is very different from how men think about love and marriage), so let me ask you some frank questions:

1.      Does your guy really like you?

2.      How would you know if you are dating a man that really likes you and likes you for you?

3.      You may know how to attract a guy but then you wonder is it you that he likes or does your guy merely like a few things about you?

  • Your Hair
  • Your Eyes
  • Your Lips
  • Your Hips
  • Your Personality
  • Your Voice
  • Your Physical Body
  • Your Complexion
  • Your Walk
  • Your Talk
  • Your Professional Abilities/Education/Skills
  • Your Possessing the things that He Lacks (like the ability to stay connected to his mother or remember birthdays)
  • Your Smile
  • Your Resources
  • Your Job
  • Your Family Roots (in other words, your pedigree)
  • Your Connections
  • Your Sexological Makeup
  • Your Rubs/Massages
  • Your Sassy Everything

4.      Does he like a few things about you or a lot?

5.      Do you attract a guy and then start wondering if you are at the top of his Top Ten List or are you a 4, 5, or a 6 – meaning, he just puts up with you or deals with you until the next one comes around that he likes better?

6.      Do you know for a fact that your guy likes you (likes you for real)?  You can only know of course, if you know what men want — or at least what YOUR man wants — and can say that you give those things to him.

7.      Are you going by what other people say about your guy liking you?

8.      Is his liking you all in your mind? In your head? Or, is it something that you are thinking but he is not?

9.      How long does like – like, and keep liking?  Attracting men is one thing, after all, but how long after you attract a guy does his liking you last? As long as a date, a hug, a kiss, a relationship, a one nighter, an ongoing good time of sex or a wedding?

10.  How long does like continue liking?

11.  If you found out that your guy does not like you as much as you like him, would you still hold on and hang in there with him?

12.  Can you handle the truth? What if you found out that he likes some things about you and then there are other things that really, really, really turn him off? My relationship advice: don’t sweat the small stuff, focus on what lights his fire.

At some point you have to answer your own questions by saying to yourself straight up and out: Does my guy like me? Does he, huh? Does my guy really, I mean really, I mean really like me and if so, where and what is my proof?

Think about it.  Think hard…….Then click to see the rest of this life-changing article and discover What Men Want in a Woman They Like.

You can also click over to our main training site to get our team’s complete  relationship advice about dating men and even more training on how to change your life.

And don’t worry, it’s free!

What Males Men Tick

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Your Choice Is Your Trouble

 

Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women) he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.

He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.

Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship,
Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.

 

How Men Really Think About Cheating, Part 1

How Men Really Think About Cheating, Part 1

Do you attract men who cheat? Are you dating a man who cheats? Are you still trying to understand men, understand what men want, trying to make it work with a guy who is convinced that cheating is okay, and who tries to make you think that something must be wrong with you for not getting over it? Well, here is some frank relationship advice about this cheating thing and change your life.

It’s time to talk about How Men Really Think About Cheating! So many women see men as dogs and there is some truth to that. Why? Because, there are men who just run around and jump from one bed to the next bed to the next bed. There are men who have no feelings and no heart and will breakup your marriage, his marriage and then play the marriage eligibility game with someone else.

  1. What is this cheating thing all about?
  2. If a man is not in a committed relationship is it really cheating?
  3. Why do men cheat? Or, is the question why does your man cheat?
  4. When did this cheating mess start?
  5. Can you stop a cheating man from cheating?
  6. Is cheating in his genes and within his means too?
  7. What does cheating accomplish?
  8. Is there an act and an art to cheating?
  9. What is the goal of the cheater?
  10. Have men done it so well that now women are doing it in mass numbers too?
  11. Are women paying men back for what they did to them?
  12. Can a man be a cheater and a good husband, father, man, lover and friend at the same time?

Can the cheater handle it when he gets cheated on?

Can he?

Well, can he?

Come on, can he?

 Say it, can he?

Don’t be afraid to admit it, can he?

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So, Why Do Men Really Cheat?

It is really not all that difficult or complicated to get to know why men really cheat. Really, it isn’t! Men don’t cheat because they have the skills to cheat. Men cheat because they have the will to cheat. It is will power that puts men in the cheating driver’s seat and keeps them moving. Men get caught cheating but women are an afterthought when it comes to cheating. It is only nowadays, men are paying attention to this cheat thing – only because women are the ones who have made and are making such a big deal out of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here are some thoughts about why men cheat.

  1. It is easy to cheat
  2. It is the one thing that he can do, like can do, like really can do
  3. It is fun
  4. It is stupid (not a lot of thought goes into it or not much thought has to go into it)
  5. It is not always planned
  6. It is the one thing that he can say that he has not been caught yet
  7. It becomes necessary to remind his woman of what he is not getting from her
  8. It is the norm for what his father, brothers, uncles, cousins and friends have done and may still be doing
  9. It helps to ease his Confusion Pain – Like, what does this woman really want from me and do I really want to give it to her?
  10. It helps him to release at will (this means he doesn’t have to argue or fuss or wait to have sex with his wife)
  11. It gives him something adventurous to do and somewhere adventurous to go
  12. It provides a change of scenery
  13. It gives him the excuse that he needs to not do what he should be doing, or act the way he should be acting
  14. It gives him a sense of exotic fulfillment
  15. It means that he doesn’t have to talk a lot to his wife/woman. Instead he gets to eat, chill, watch a movie, have sex, bathe or be bathed by her (the other woman), get a massage, hopefully his feet did (not done), a smile, a laugh, a snack and then go to sleep.
  16. It’s dirty and nasty and freaky and sneaky and wild
  17. It has been told to him or he is convinced that it is his right and/or his rite of passage (he’s just continuing it)

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What Males Men Tick

TO A MAN:

“Cheating is the other side of the world that

he gets to run to as often as he can!”

What women need to hear!

Men are not born to cheat instead they get out there and do it and then they acquire a taste for it!

If he can cheat then he can tell himself that he:

  1. Doesn’t have to argue
  2. Doesn’t have to be nagged
  3. Doesn’t have to answer a whole lot of questions
  4. Doesn’t have to be constantly accused of stuff (even if he is doing it or even if he is not)
  5. Doesn’t have to take care of the trash and stuff (the kids can do that)
  6. Doesn’t have to lock into all the things that are important to her (the love, bills & communication…)
  7. Doesn’t have to spend time with the children since mom is doing a good enough job at that
  8. Doesn’t have to be responsible for things that he is not in the mood for being responsible for

And he knows that cheating is just his cheaper way out, at least for a moment or at that time!

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SHOULD MEN CHEAT?

Of course not!

Will Men Continue to Cheat?

Of course they will!

Will it ever reach a point where men will stop?

  1. Can a leopard change his spots?
  2. Can a horse play golf?
  3. Can an elephant sit in your bathtub when he is fully grown?
  4. Can a rabbit speak 7 different languages and eat water ice at the same time?

The day that men stop cheating is the day that they change for the better:

  1. Spiritually
  2. Mentally
  3. Emotionally
  4. Financially
  5. Socially
  6. Recreationally
  7. Wholly

THE OUTCOME & CONSEQUENSES OF CHEATNG

It’s like this:

Cheating is:

  • Free now but it will cost you later
  • It tears you up inside but you won’t get it until it leaks on the outside
  • It breaks good hearts and makes them hard
  • It destroys the very things that are needed to survive in marriage and relationships
  • It makes wet tears dry up like they were never there
  • It ruins a good life and a good love
  • It hurts the wife, the children, the family and friends
  • It blurs one’s vision and prevents him from seeing the best in a relationship or from achieving it
  • It puts a scar on him that can be that constant reminder of a painful past
  • It can have your children thinking that it is okay to cheat and just suffer the consequences

“Cheating is for men who can’t handle what is right, good, has potential and

possibly be the best thing that has or will ever happen to them.”

Like this post? You can get much more by clicking over to our main training site to get our team’s complete  relationship advice about dating men and even more training on how to change your life.

And don’t worry, it’s free!

________________________________________________________

Your Choice Is Your Trouble

Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women) he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.

He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.

Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship, Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.

 

How Men Think About Commitment, Part 1

Attracting a man is one thing. Being attracted to a man is another thing. Being attracted to a man and a man being attracted to you is another thing too. Now, staying attracted to each other is a whole different story.

Where does commitment fit into this attraction thing?

Let’s start out by getting you to answer a couple of questions?

  1. Why do men run from commitment instead of run to it?
  2. Why do men take so long to be committed to one woman, to make her exclusive, his number one, his only and more than special lady?
  3. Why do so many women have to beg a man to make a commitment to her and mean it?
  4. Why do men go up and down the commitment ladder?
  5. Why do men commit to sex, making babies, wining and dining women, traveling to hotels with women, and short term and temporary excitement with women?

___________________________________________What Males Men Tick________________

Okay, now let’s see if you can answer these questions while you are at it.

1. Why do some men commit and some don’t?
2. Is commitment on the mind of the average man?
3. Is commitment something that men are taught or that they just fall into by hook or by crook?
4. Is commitment something that even if a man starts out in it, he will stay with it?
5. Are women more committed to men than men are to women?
6. If a man commits now does that mean that he will commit later?
7. Does commitment hold relationships together?
8. Are men committed to the short-term or the long-term?
9. Are you ready for a truly committed relationship?
10. Are you expecting from a man the very things that you are not willing to give back to him?
11. If commitment gets broken, can it ever be fixed?
12. Does commitment matter?

In the same way that I wrote about “How Men Think About Love, Parts 1 & 2 and that men love differently than women — the same applies here.

Men commit differently yet with some similarities as a woman.

The truth is that men commit to what they want to commit to. Men commit in or to a relationship only when they are good and ready. You will get more from a man when he wants to commitment than if you keep asking him (over and over again) and even begging him to do it. Men like to and need to feel that they are in control even if they are not. Men like to know that whatever they commit to, it wasn’t because someone was bothering them, nagging them, pushing them, constantly reminding them or getting on their nerves about it.
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WHEN A MAN COMMITS:

1. It is not because you are so beautiful (even though you very well may be)
2. It is not because you are so sexy and your body drives him crazy (even though you may be well put together and heavenly and heavily endowed)
3. It is not because of how good you smell or your scent (even though you may smell real good and tasty)
4. It is not because you wear the right lingerie (even though your body works it out – like real hot looking)
5. It is not because you begged him to (even though you did it over and over again)
6. It is not because you ask him to (even though you didn’t think that there was anything wrong with asking)
7. It is not because you won’t let him get away with answering your question (even though he tried to answer at least a few of them and then dodged a couple more of them)
8. It is not because you are his Baby’s Momma (even though that does mean a little something something)
9. It is not because you fooled him into it (even though men can be fooled from time to time)
10. It is not because there is no one else out there that he can’t commit to (because there are plenty out there who want to commit to him)
11. It is not because you are the best cook ever (even though he has probably had better but he won’t tell you that)
12. It is not because your conversation won him over (even though he has been in more conversations than you can imagine)

A man commits because HE WANTS TO:

And when he wants to, he commits! It is as simple as that.

I know that you might not want to hear this but a man goes through a process of female eliminations. Now of course very few and I mean very few men will admit to this but you better listen up. Men deal with the female elimination process like this:
1. How good she looks to him.
2. Can he walk down the street and feel good about who is on his shoulder?
3. Her kisses which include the shape and the softness of her lips; even how often he can get a kiss matters too.
4. Her touch.
5. Her love temperature. Is she hot about him or hot about just being in a relationship?
6. Her mouth (Does she run it all the time and so much so that he knows ahead of time – this woman is going to drive him crazy).
7. Her parenting skills.
8. Her loving nature.
9. Her feet, her legs, her breasts, her hair and her buttocks.
10. Her complexion.
11. Her shape.
12. Her nonverbal communication.
13. Her background.
14. Her habits.
15. Her differences when he compares her to other women who were in his life that he really liked or loved. This can be dangerous though when it comes to starting from scratch. Comparing is not a good thing but to some it helps.
16. Her attitude about him and other things.
17. Her rank when it comes to other women who are also interested in him. Is she ranked #1 The Best #2 The Next in Line or #3 Just Someone to be with until he can find someone else better?

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Understanding the Word Commitment:

The word commitment has to do with: 1) Being responsible 2) Having and understanding a sense of loyalty [what it means, what it does, and what it accomplishes] 3) It has much to do with how you plan things  and where you are going in the future 4) It can have a legal connotation or legal implications

If you really want to know then know this:

“A man commits because he sees something in a woman that he wants to be committed to “spirit, soul, and body” or “body, mind, emotions and economic success”.

WHERE MEN NEED HELP

Men need help being committed to a woman because of what commitment truly means. When a man truly loves a woman then commitment is what he not only believes but what he does. It takes a while for most men to commit but once they do, you’ve got them. Just remember, it has to be his commitment and not yours. Sometimes, the best help that you can give a man is to back up off of him, and let him do the commitment thing when he is ready.

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A FEW QUESTIONS THAT YOU JUST MIGHT WANT TO ASK YOUR MAN:

If you want to know if YOUR man is truly and really, for real and really committed to you then ask him the following questions:
1. Are you committed to me? Why?
2. What do you mean by the word commitment? Spell it?
3. Have you ever been committed to anyone before?
4. Do you believe in short-term or long-term commitment?
5. Can you be committed to me and me only for the rest of your (my, our) life?

Like this post? You can get much more by clicking over to our main training site to get our team’s complete  relationship advice about dating men and even more training on how to change your life.

And don’t worry, it’s free!

what Makes Men Tick

Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women) he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.

He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.

Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship,
Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.

How Men Think About Love - Part 2

Is it really easy to attract a guy? What does love really have to do with it? What about attracting the right guy that honestly learns to love you and only you? What do men zero in on and aim for when it comes to dating? Are you dating a man, and want to know what men want in a woman in order to stay and not leave? Want to know some more about how men think about love?

If you want to know how to get a guy to: 1) Be your right guy – without the lying or to 2) Be with the right guy – without the phony stuff  or to 3) Be able to grow in love with the right guy and have fun with him then check this out.

When it comes to attracting a man, you need to know:

How Men Think about Love, okay, okay, okay – the real deal is that, it takes time for a man to love seriously, genuinely and sacrificially. Or, put it another way: “men just take their time going from woman, to woman to woman to finally, “Wow-man or wooooooow-man” meaning – this is it and she is the one. The question is how long will he keep this method up, and for how many women?

When it comes to a sexy body the average man falls in love immediately. Yup I said it, because they really do. When it comes to real love, like real-real love, like real, real, real love, it takes a man time, to come to the place where he is able to say to a woman, “I really do love you with all of my being, heart and soul”. For the right person that is not necessarily a bad thing because she gets to learn more about him.  Understanding men better is always a good goal but you are going to have to master the male objectives!

Keep in mind that for the person who is still waiting, it might be more beneficial for her to move on – that should be her call.

Let me ask you a couple of questions to get you on the runway about how men view love:

  1. Do you want to get a man who will not lie but come right out (be honest) from the door, and say to you: “I love you for your looks (hair, eyes, legs, buttocks, breasts and complexion), body curves and full physique.” Then he tells you, plus all the other good stuff? OR
  2. Do you want a man who will lie to you and say, I just love you for your mind, the way you think,  your business savvy, your cultural background, family background or religious beliefs but really only sees your body and that’s it?

Really, it is your choice and your decision to make. In my book, Your Choice Is Your Trouble” (Moving on after the choices you’ve made) – I tell people that the choice is basically in their hands. No one is: 1) Pushing you 2) Forcing you 3) Fighting you 3) Making you or 4) Demanding that you. Again, it is your choice to make whether or not you can handle the truth.

“It would be good for you and for your relationship if you let a man love you at the point where, he is ready and he knows what he wants, and not what you are trying to get him to want.”

Love again, is an action word! Now, it could be a short and quick action or it can be a long term action.

DON’T EVER PUSH OR FORCE A MAN TO LOVE YOU!!!

Because! If you push him in (as I’ve said in my book) you just might have to push him out. Here is how I put it on Facebook recently and many women agreed with me. I asked the women on my Facebook Page one time to: Promise me that you will never-ever, ever-never force anyone to say that they love you. Who the heck wants fake, made up, and threw it together and still trying to figure it out – kind of love?” Now, I am asking you to do the same.

Men love slower than women but it doesn’t mean that they are not loving or trying to love. The average man is just slow about it. Why are men slow when it comes to loving a woman? Here are several reasons for you to stop and think about:

  1. He is not over his Ex.
  2. He has never been taught how to love a woman or what it takes to love a woman.
  3. He is in love with a woman who doesn’t love him the way he loves her.
  4. He is still saying to himself, “eeny meeny miny mo” – Which one is the woman that I really want to know, love, marry, have children with and continue in a nonstop long term relationship with?
  5. He is not financially ready.
  6. He has enough baggage to last him for the rest of his life and hers.
  7. He is scared to be in a real relationship and not be in control of it.
  8. He doesn’t want to be in another rebound relationship.
  9. He knows that as much as he likes or loves you that there is something (s) about you that he just doesn’t like and, neither does he want to deal with concerning you.
  10. He found out that his children do not like, love or want to be around you as much as he does.
  11. He found out some things about you that he doesn’t want you to know that he knows.
  12. He has a health problem and he doesn’t want to bring you into it because he loves you.
  13. He is struggling with his sexuality.
  14. He really loves someone else.
  15. He really wants to be with someone else.
  16. He is really and seriously confused about you and the relationship.
  17. You are too much woman for him.
  18. Something just doesn’t feel right about the whole thing.
  19. His faith and you won’t make it.
  20. He would rather do bad all by himself.
  21. He would rather continue to do good all by himself.

IT IS NOT HARD TO KNOW IF A MAN LOVES YOU!

CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING FIVE STRAIGHT UP QUESTIONS TO ASK ANY MAN THAT YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO or EVEN SERIOUSLY INTERESTED IN:

  1. Ask him to spell the word love. Example: Sweetheart, how do you spell the word love?
  2. Ask him what is the longest period of time that he has loved a woman? If he and her broke up, who broke it off?
  3. If he broke up with another woman, now that it is over, ask him, how do you know that you can really love?
  4. Do you have anything left in your suitcase with another woman’s name on it?
  5. Are you attracted to me or do you just want to sleep with me? Don’t be afraid to say or tell him, I notice that you look more at my body than you listen to my heart.

The answers that he gives to you will help you to choose right, the next time or continue what the two of you started. Believe it or not genuine love consists of many facets – not just one.

Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women) he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.

He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.

Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship,
Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.

 

How Men Think About What a Man Is

What IS a Man?  How do men think about what a man is? Is it possible to know what men want from themselves? To understand men’s identity struggle? Men have a dilemma and if you want to understand men, this video begins to lay out the secret identity struggle of men. Dr. Sheldon Nix gives relationship advice about handling this struggle. Women who want to attract men will find this perspective critical.

My colleague, Dr. Sheldon Nix (Ph.D. in psychology, 10+ years of life coaching and small business coaching training and experience, published author of books on men and boys) has just put up a video as part of his 5 Dilemmas of Manhood series.  Watch it here.

Excerpt from The 5 Dilemmas of Manhood by Dr. Sheldon Nix.

As you can see, if you want to attract men, this is the kind of great relationship advice you need!!! It’s a sensitive topic, so don’t even THINK of dating men or dealing with your man on his identity issues until you STUDY men and learn how to understand men.  You HAVE to know what guys want, what do men REALLY want, from themselves, their woman, their JOB, their bodies, etc., etc..

In other words, you have to know what makes men tick!!  Nuff said.  Holla back.

How Men Think About More Than One Woman

If you want to attract a guy (the right guy), or if you are already dating a man, or just want to know what men want, you need to know this. If you want to attract men (the right men), know how to get a man to love you (and only you), how to make a man want you (and only you), how to get a man to commit to YOU (and only you), then you need to know what men want.

If you want to be in his head, get in his head and travel with him in his head, then you need to know what do guys want in a relationship.  You may know how to flirt with a guy, how to be attractive, know the secrets to attract men however, I have some powerful and shocking things to share with you (are you sitting down?) — relationship advice  – let’s talk about:

HOW MEN THINK ABOUT MORE THAN ONE WOMAN

Men dream of being with more than one woman. Men want to be with more than one woman. Men can’t wait to be with more than one woman. Men tell other men all the time how they were with or want to be with more than one woman. Just keep in mind though, that a man doesn’t want his woman to know that he wants to be with more than one woman.  So be warned — we are out to change your life by giving you the truth.

  1. Is this how men are wired?  Is this what men want naturally, by design, by nature?
  2. Is it that men can’t help themselves?
  3. Is it that men need more than one woman to get the job done?
  4. Is it that men will never be satisfied unless they can have more than one woman?

Or, is it for another reason, purpose, understanding and a bunch of other stuff?  What DO men want from women?

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ARE MEN SIMPLY BEING JUST LIKE OTHER MEN?

Are men simply being just like the men who came before them? Like their fathers, grandfathers, uncles, cousins, friends, and neighbors? Or, are they following the thinking of the pimps, the playas, the uncommitted, unfaithful, non-serious, not-for-real, and what-ever-men that are out there today?

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Come on, How DO Men Think About Relationships and What DO Men Want, Really?

  1. What is stopping men from focusing on one woman?
  2. What is stopping men from loving one woman?
  3. What is in the way of bringing men to the point where they know that there are plenty of woman out there but the One that they are with is the One and only One for life — for them?
  4. How DO men think about women?

Women need to know and to realize that not every man is out there looking for more than one woman, to be with at a time. However, if the truth were told, yes many men are out there looking for just that.

  1. Men love to hunt.
  2. Men get excited about even the possibility of a booty call (s).
  3. Men love changing up from one complexion to the next. From one size to the next. From one shape to the next. From one fluffy to the next fluffy. From one set of breasts to another and the list goes on.
  4. Men get tired of the same old, same old. In the course of a day a man gets tempted by so many women. So at some point in his mind, he begins to put together his dream girl. His fantasy woman. His, if I had her for one night kind of woman. His boy, what I would do to her and with her right now, kind of woman.
  5. Men don’t like it when they are with women who constantly beat up on them verbally. They tend to use that as a tool or weapon to say, that that is what drives them to be with another woman. They search or expect to be with a woman who is kinder or, sweeter or, should I say that doesn’t know them/him all that well, and therefore; they wouldn’t know or have a clue what they are getting into.
  6. Men get frustrated easily.
  7. Men see other women and want to: 1) be with them 2) have sex with them 3) touch them 4) hold them 5) get down and dirty with them and 5) tell other men that they were with someone who was booty-li-cious, just for the fun of it; or the joy of it; or the wild thing that it was.

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BEING HONEST ABOUT IT!

If a man was really going to be honest, here is what he would say: “After 3 or 4 times of having good sex or wild sex with a woman, he is ready to move on and try someone else”. Women please calm down and listen for a minute. Oftentimes, it has nothing to do with you. It is just how he is wired; right or wrong. Wrong though it is and wrong it will be! Even God Himself said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). In other words, God said that, He would make a help meet (fit for him) for the man. He did not say, help meats (lots of female skins — soft and tender, good flesh and more ladies than a man could handle).

When you ask yourself the question: Why do men cheat? Well, why do they? Is it because the one didn’t satisfy him enough? Or, for as good as it was, or as good as it is, he just felt like he needed to be with someone different the next time. And the next time! And the next time! And again, it had nothing to do with you. It is his issue and stuff to sort out and not yours.

FEELINGS & TROUBLE

Well, just maybe, we have stumbled upon one of the answers. When it comes to women, men do more feeling than they do thinking. Thinking then many times becomes or is an afterthought. Feelings can get you in or lead you into lots of trouble.

For example:

  1. A man sees a woman
  2. Pursues a woman
  3. Decides what he would like to do with a woman
  4. Begins to see in his mind what he can feel, touch, enjoy, work with and handle that the woman has and that he wants to have
  5. Makes moves with his words and plans for his words to become actions. He gets even more intensed once he knows that she is also interested in him. The woman doesn’t have to be interested forever, just for the night or a couple of nights or a fling or a once in awhile affair.

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MEN ARE VERY STRONG IN THE FEELING AREA TOO BUT WITH THE LOWER HEAD

Men are very strong in the area of their feelings but it is not their emotional feelings, instead it is there sensual and sexual feelings.

  1. He feels that this woman has something that he wants.
  2. He feels that this woman has something that he can get.
  3. He feels as though this woman is just as attracted to him as he is to her or that a little is better than nothing at all.
  4. He feels that what he sees has caused him to get a rise (erection), and that the night will be a good night, if she works with him or goes along with him.
  5. He feels that, what he can do for her, will be far more than what any man has ever done for her.
  6. He feels that they can go anywhere and make a night of it.
  7. He feels good about what he sees, and therefore, is not thinking that he will be rejected at a certain point.
  8. He feels like playing, talking, eating a meal, getting some drinks, buying something and anything else that will help him to get some (sex that is). When? The very night that he is with her.

All of this is for and about one woman but the same thing could be done that night, the next night, a couple of nights, a week or a month with a different woman or women.

Oftentimes and more often than not, it is not about you (the woman)!

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YEAP, MEN SEE BEING WITH MORE THAN ONE WOMAN DIFFERENTLY THAN WOMEN THINK THAT THEY SEE IT.

  1. Are men wrong for thinking this way?
  2. Are men hurting their chances of a long term or long lasting relationship with a good woman for being like that?
  3. Why do men continue like this when, women are constantly getting the short end of the stick, hurt, wounded and disappointed by men’s actions?

A GOOD MAN

A Good Man:

  1. Wants to be with one woman
  2. Wants to work with one woman
  3. Wants to grow to understand one woman
  4. Wants to take what he is and what he has and enjoy his life with one woman
  5. Wants to stay focused on who it is that he is coming home to every night
  6. Wants to be an example for his children and family
  7. Wants to learn the power of being with One and the good that can come from it

But he is in a love, sex, power and control Battle Zone! Meaning at some point he has to realize — hopefully armed with our relationship advice — that being with more than one woman:

  1. Causes more problems than it is worth.
  2. Makes him less than a responsible man and nothing more.
  3. Puts him in a vulnerable situation from beginning to end, when it comes to making rational, right and real choices.
  4. Causes his feelings to be lopsided and equivalent to a roller coaster ride that looks like lots and lots of fun, until you get on it. Then, and only then, does he experience the ride that takes him places that his stomach, his heart, his head and even his emotions were not ready for.
  5. Is not what is best for a committed relationship that is really going somewhere?

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JUST KNOW THIS!

Women need to know that many men have the desire for more than one woman but it is not good, nor healthy and neither is it right – for a real relationship that is going somewhere good, positive, loving and committed. Get to know your man and get to know how he thinks, and you can begin a journey with him that could become good, great and grand! And when he reaches a point where he is ready, you can then, get the best of him and not the worse, not the immature and not the loose and getting looser. You’ll have the Right Man, for the long haul!

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It’s your turn to write me a comment and tell me what you think.  Or to tell me does this match your experiences as a woman, or as a man that has to deal with this with a woman. I’m waiting!

You can get more video based training from our Project Manhood website.

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Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women) he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.

He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.

Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship, Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.

How Men Think About Love, Part 1

Looking to attract a guy?  Want to know ways to attract men (the right kind of men?)  Are you dating a man and want to know what men want  in a woman they are willing to marry or be serious about? Want to know how men think about love?

If you want to get a guy (the right guy), find the right guy, be with the right guy, love the right guy, enjoy the right guy or get to the point where you are loving and in love with the right guy then let’s travel to a place where men don’t talk about much but they have a lot to say or think within themselves. Let me give you some of our no-holds-barred relationship advice.

HOW MEN THINK ABOUT LOVE

As I spend time watching, observing, conducting workshops, coaching and asking questions about love to men, women, married couples and those who are involved in committed relationships around the country – here is what I’m finding out:

Women would like to know, why men just won’t get into the love thang (thing) like they do. In the mind of a woman it’s like:

  1. Why is he struggling with love? What do men really want in a woman — the real love stuff or the love that he’s never had.
  2. Why does he struggle with my love? The stuff that only I can give him and that he can’t get from anyone else but me.
  3. Why is it that he doesn’t want to love me the way that I love him or the way that I have been, loving him? I know I am good, the truth and the candy that he likes for flavor.  Why is it so hard to attract a guy who loves me back?
  4. What is his problem? It’s like I know what guys want but I don’t know what guys REALLY want because he is saying one thing but then doing something else.
  5. Okay, I give him the best of my love and this is what I get in return? Oh no, it is time for this love thang (thing) to stop.

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Many women would appreciate it if a man would at least act like he wants a little bit of that kind of love — like they (women) do.

You might be wondering, well exactly what kind of love is – “that kind of love” to a man? Well here it goes!

Men do want to love, fall in love, grow in love, look for love and loving but how they love is a different story and song! And again I say, the way they love is a different story and song. How often they love is a different story and song. And even who they love can/could be a different story and song.

As you get to know your man better and better, let me give you some tips to attract men (and hold them).  Make sure of a couple of things:

1. He explains what love means to him. Let me give you some more relationship advice: You must come to a place where you know that it is about him then you, you then him and then the two of you. It’s just how men are wired.

  • Far too often, women guess when they should ask questions. Or, they don’t ask the right questions to get the right answers from their man. Think before you ask, so that when you do ask, it is or they are the right questions for your man.
  • Men have also been in love before, hurt before, wounded before and have been through a little something something to go with their something else.
  • Men have their own story to tell too and maybe you need to take a minute and find out what that is, so that you will know what you are dealing with for sure, from the door and as it mixes with your future.

2.  He talks to you about his story of love – and believe you me he has one. Stop thinking that just because your man does not run his mouth all the time and say a lot of stuff about love and relationships and loving and romantic stuff and mushy stuff – that he doesn’t have a love story to tell.

3. If he doesn’t know or even understanding where you are, are you okay with knowing that his love journey may have been entirely different than yours? And that it was a man’s love journey and not a woman’s love journey.

YES MEN LOVE DIFFRENTLY THAN WOMEN – And they express it differently oftentimes too! Get this — really get this — and it will change your life forever.

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Again, men love differently than women and women love differently than men. And yet, there are times when they kind-of hit the love thing together too.

As I said on my Facebook Page on Right Choice, Right Relationship, Right Reasons, “If a woman tells you that she loves you, you can take that to the bank. Just get your balance slip before you leave, or you might find out that, it was only until you started messing up. If a man tells you that he loves you, always ask him, what do you mean by that? You might be a tad bit surprised at what you hear next.”

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Definitions are everything to you but…

You see it works like this: definitions are rarely spoken by men but are used by them very often in an action oriented way. Men love sex and they love sex and they love sex and they love sex and they love sex. Oops! Did you get what I am trying to say? So this means that there are times when the sex is the love and the love is the sex.

This does not mean that men don’t or won’t act on their definitions of love but action is where a man lives (Hear that and hear me!). And men define love so much differently than women however; you know that already and by now, right.

Do yourself a favor and ask yourself some questions in route to getting your answers because of your man’s Himistry ™.

  1. Does my man love me for real, for sure, for himself, for me, for the children, for the sake of the marriage, our relationship or for other reason(s)?
  2. How does my man show or prove his love for me?
  3. When does my man show, act like or demonstrates privately or publicly that he loves me?
  4. What is it about me that my man loves?
  5. Is my man the loving kind (by nature) or is it hard for him to show the mental and emotional side to his love and loving?
  6. Did my man get love from his father, mother or family when he was growing up?
  7. Does my man know what to do with genuine love as I give it to him? Or, is he doing what he heard or saw on television or something?
  8. Can my man love me and does he really have what it takes to love me the way I need to be loved? Or, am I just thinking that he has it and he really doesn’t?
  9. Okay, so he does or did say that he loves me but, what did he mean when he said it? Let’s see let me pick one: When he said, “I love you” did he mean?
  • I love your person/personality
  • I love the way you think or your mental savvy
  • I love you sensually and sexually
  • I love you emotionally
  • I love the way you do what you do and how you do it for me
  • I love you because, I know you want me to say that I love you
  • I love you because I love you and there is no one else out there in the world that I want to love or experience this kind of love the way that I need it, want it and get it from you
  • I love you because of what you have (finances and fame) and I want some of it

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At some point whether you can handle it or not, you need to know: WHAT A MAN MEANS OR WHAT YOUR MAN MEANS WHEN HE SAYS, “I love you”.

When a man is getting all of the goodies, all of the good stuff that you have been waiting to give to that special someone and the lovemaking is off the chain, it could be that what he means by love and what you mean by love are just two different things. And a man will ask himself quick fast and in a hurry: Is it necessary to let this love (knowledge, growth and next level) develop any further if, I am already getting everything that I want?

EXAMPLES OF:

HOW MEN SAY THIS LOVE THANG, SOMETIMES

(Just remember that saying I love you and doing the love is another story):

  1. Hey baby, I love you because…
  2. Girl, just looking at you makes me love you…
  3. Now come on, you know how much I love you right?
  4. Who else do I love more than you?
  5. Stop asking me if I love you, you know what’s up, right?
  6. Why wouldn’t I love you?
  7. Of course I love you
  8. We love each other don’t we?

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It’s your turn to write me a comment and tell me what you think.  Or to tell me does this match your experiences as a woman, or as a man that has to deal with this with a woman. I’m waiting!

You can get more video based training from our Project Manhood website.

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Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women), he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.

He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.

Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship, Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.

 

How Men Think About Lying, Part 1

Why Men Lie? Good women should want to know why men lie and if their man is lying or telling the truth.

If you want to attract the right man and know that he is on target with the truth about love, loving you, and only you, loving you for the right reasons and loving you from his heart then, you are on the right website and blogs to get it, get it, get it. We have some excellent relationship advice for you here and our other websites.

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Not all men lie. Let’s get that straight but a lot of men do. And no good woman wants a no good liar in her love life for sure. Believe it or not, there are some good, honest, can’t wait to be with you and can’t wait to tell the truth – men in this world. I’ve found that one of the things that really bothers a good woman or makes her want to lose it – is when her man lies to her or he gets caught in a lie by her; or even getting caught in a lie by one of her close girlfriends for that matter.

You need to know from the gate, what kind of man you have. Because, the kind of man that he is now says a lot about the kind of man that he will be in your future.

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Is he a liar by:

  1. Nature – It’s just what he does because of who he is in his nature.
  2. Necessity – It’s just what he does because he feels as though things won’t go right in his life if he doesn’t lie. To him, he needs to lie because he thinks it works. Actually for him lying may have been working for along time.
  3. Never did it before but just fell into it – It’s where he found himself and it worked and he feels good about the fact that he got out of the situation (that time).

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The bottom line is that many men lie because, they know that some women want to hear what they are going to say, rather than the truth. For example: If he was out with another woman or cheated or whatever, you might ask him, where were you last night? Because he knows that you don’t want to hear him say, “I was out with the other woman that I am interested in” so, he comes up with something else. Like, “I was out with my brother, my friends, playing cards, or watching a game”. And don’t forget, my mom needed me to bring her something and I ended up staying over there for a while.

Men know that many women handle the lie better and probably believe it quicker, without the drama of the truth. If men don’t know how to do anything else, they know how to lie; especially in certain situations. For a lot of men it is a learned behavior. It is that “thing to do that works and that keeps him out of trouble”, when the truth is – that kind of trouble will eventually catch up with him anyway.

If a man starts out lying to you chances are he will continue to lie more and deeper and deeper into the relationship. Lying in the relationship is like being committed to lying even if it ends the relationship. So, during the relationship or once you are convinced that the relationship could end remember, a lie is a lie is a lie.

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A Good Man and Lies

A good man is not trying to lie at all because, it is just as important to him as it is to his woman that he be honest and tell the truth. He expects the same from her too. Good men do several things: 1) Do what is right so that they don’t have to lie 2) Count the cost of lying versus his value for the relationship that he wants just as much as her 3) Knows that a lie will jeopardize his future

If you have a godly man then lying is not his cup of coffee or tea anyway

Whenever you are dating or searching for love keep in mind that lies and liars come in different shapes and different forms and here are a few:

  1. Regular liars
  2. Historical liars
  3. Convenient liars
  4. Joking liars
  5. Cover your butt liars
  6. Oops liars
  7. One lie won’t hurt liars
  8. She probably lied to me already too liars
  9. This will be my last lie for real liars
  10. I’m trying to stop liars
  11. My dad lied and got away with it liars (at least I think he got away with it)

And the list goes on. Just keep in mind that lying, loving and dating are not a match and they do not go together at all. Some men need help because depending on the kind of liar they are, it can really damage, change and hurt what could be an awesome relationship and future for both of you. Our reason for developing “What Makes Men Tick” workshops is because we are committed to helping you understand men and men understand you too.

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I suggest that you be upfront from the gate and test your man’s tongue to see, if he is a liar or a loving you – truth telling kind-of-man.

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You can get more video based training from our Project Manhood website.

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Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women) he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.

He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.

Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship, Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.

 

How Men Think About Getting Married, Part 1

Why Get Married? a man may ask himself.

Men DO think about marriage but not the same as women do. You can’t make a man think about marriage until he is good and ready. And if, you make the mistake of pushing him, rushing him or manipulating him, you will have more downs than you will have ups in your marital relationship.
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When men are thinking believe me, they are thinking. And just because men don’t jump when or as fast as women think they should, oftentimes they get accused of not thinking at all. The male brain works differently and that is a known fact.

(See Dr. Sheldon Nix’s Blog post on: How Men Think About Communication). There is not only some mental health stuff going on but also some emotional stuff kicking too. How else do you think that men get to the physical so quick and easy? Now, women know that men will not get it (love, intimacy, sex or…) unless they want them to have it but it takes a while for men to catch on to that. We can talk about that at another time.
Men don’t think about things that women are thinking about, and the way that women think about them. Men are in another place and at different times and in different time zones.

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To Some Men Marriage is:

1. Holy (Too much God, church and people with tons of witnesses attending)
2. Good (Too much good and being good)
3. Several Levels Up (Too much stepping up to the real stuff for real)
4. About the Real Deal Commitment (Too much loyalty to one and only one person)
5. Lock Down (Too much can’t do this, can’t go there and can’t play around anymore)

Please know that men may or may not ask themselves or speak to themselves about getting married but they sure do run it by mom, sometimes dad and definitely their buddies (both male and females that are their real close friends).

Here are some of the things that men think about for why they should NOT get married:

  1. Why should I get married, if I’m hitting it already (getting all of the “Booty Call” that I want)?
  2. Why should I get married, if we don’t talk about love and getting deeper as much as we just do what we do, and handle what we handle? And everything is fine as it is right?
  3. Why should I get married, if she wants it and I don’t?
  4. Why should I get married, if I’m not sure she is the one?
  5. Why should I get married, if I’ve got so many other women that I am planning to spend some time with also?
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  6. Why should I get married, if there are so many women out there who still want me?
  7. Why should I get married, if the rules of my game will all change?
  8. Why should I get married just to make her happy and then, I’m miserable?
  9. Why should I get married and get put on lockdown (sexually and romantically)?
  10. Why should I get married and lose my freedom?
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  11. Why should I get married just because my mom, dad and family want me to?
  12. Why should I get married when the bachelor life is so rewarding?
  13. Why should I get married, if she thinks that I am ready, and I KNOW that I am not?
  14. Why should I get married just to make her think that I am proving to her how much I love her?
  15. Why should I get married if in today’s world, I can have a son, or a daughter or a family without being married?

If you want a man to marry you:

First, let him bring up the subject, not you (don’t you do it).

Second, keep the hunter in him, chasing you.

Third, believe him when he tells you or acts like he is not finish whatever the heck he is still doing, trying to do or testing to see if he can do (concerning another woman).

This is not an exhaustive list (there are so many more reasons) but it is just enough to help a woman get on the thinking page with a man. And possibly even the man that she is with right now today. Also, check out our relationship advice at our main website.

You can get more video based training from our Project Manhood website.

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Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women) he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.

He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.

Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship, Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.