How Men Think About Getting Married, Part 1

Why Get Married? a man may ask himself.

Men DO think about marriage but not the same as women do. You can’t make a man think about marriage until he is good and ready. And if, you make the mistake of pushing him, rushing him or manipulating him, you will have more downs than you will have ups in your marital relationship.

When men are thinking believe me, they are thinking. And just because men don’t jump when or as fast as women think they should, oftentimes they get accused of not thinking at all. The male brain works differently and that is a known fact.

(See Dr. Sheldon Nix’s Blog post on: How Men Think About Communication). There is not only some mental health stuff going on but also some emotional stuff kicking too. How else do you think that men get to the physical so quick and easy? Now, women know that men will not get it (love, intimacy, sex or…) unless they want them to have it but it takes a while for men to catch on to that. We can talk about that at another time.
Men don’t think about things that women are thinking about, and the way that women think about them. Men are in another place and at different times and in different time zones.


To Some Men Marriage is:

1. Holy (Too much God, church and people with tons of witnesses attending)
2. Good (Too much good and being good)
3. Several Levels Up (Too much stepping up to the real stuff for real)
4. About the Real Deal Commitment (Too much loyalty to one and only one person)
5. Lock Down (Too much can’t do this, can’t go there and can’t play around anymore)

Please know that men may or may not ask themselves or speak to themselves about getting married but they sure do run it by mom, sometimes dad and definitely their buddies (both male and females that are their real close friends).

Here are some of the things that men think about for why they should NOT get married:

  1. Why should I get married, if I’m hitting it already (getting all of the “Booty Call” that I want)?
  2. Why should I get married, if we don’t talk about love and getting deeper as much as we just do what we do, and handle what we handle? And everything is fine as it is right?
  3. Why should I get married, if she wants it and I don’t?
  4. Why should I get married, if I’m not sure she is the one?
  5. Why should I get married, if I’ve got so many other women that I am planning to spend some time with also?
  6. Why should I get married, if there are so many women out there who still want me?
  7. Why should I get married, if the rules of my game will all change?
  8. Why should I get married just to make her happy and then, I’m miserable?
  9. Why should I get married and get put on lockdown (sexually and romantically)?
  10. Why should I get married and lose my freedom?
  11. Why should I get married just because my mom, dad and family want me to?
  12. Why should I get married when the bachelor life is so rewarding?
  13. Why should I get married, if she thinks that I am ready, and I KNOW that I am not?
  14. Why should I get married just to make her think that I am proving to her how much I love her?
  15. Why should I get married if in today’s world, I can have a son, or a daughter or a family without being married?

If you want a man to marry you:

First, let him bring up the subject, not you (don’t you do it).

Second, keep the hunter in him, chasing you.

Third, believe him when he tells you or acts like he is not finish whatever the heck he is still doing, trying to do or testing to see if he can do (concerning another woman).

This is not an exhaustive list (there are so many more reasons) but it is just enough to help a woman get on the thinking page with a man. And possibly even the man that she is with right now today. Also, check out our relationship advice at our main website.

You can get more video based training from our Project Manhood website.


Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women) he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.

He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.

Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship, Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.


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