How Men Think About More Than One Woman

If you want to attract a guy (the right guy), or if you are already dating a man, or just want to know what men want, you need to know this. If you want to attract men (the right men), know how to get a man to love you (and only you), how to make a man want you (and only you), how to get a man to commit to YOU (and only you), then you need to know what men want.

If you want to be in his head, get in his head and travel with him in his head, then you need to know what do guys want in a relationship.  You may know how to flirt with a guy, how to be attractive, know the secrets to attract men however, I have some powerful and shocking things to share with you (are you sitting down?) — relationship advice  – let’s talk about:


Men dream of being with more than one woman. Men want to be with more than one woman. Men can’t wait to be with more than one woman. Men tell other men all the time how they were with or want to be with more than one woman. Just keep in mind though, that a man doesn’t want his woman to know that he wants to be with more than one woman.  So be warned — we are out to change your life by giving you the truth.

  1. Is this how men are wired?  Is this what men want naturally, by design, by nature?
  2. Is it that men can’t help themselves?
  3. Is it that men need more than one woman to get the job done?
  4. Is it that men will never be satisfied unless they can have more than one woman?

Or, is it for another reason, purpose, understanding and a bunch of other stuff?  What DO men want from women?



Are men simply being just like the men who came before them? Like their fathers, grandfathers, uncles, cousins, friends, and neighbors? Or, are they following the thinking of the pimps, the playas, the uncommitted, unfaithful, non-serious, not-for-real, and what-ever-men that are out there today?


Come on, How DO Men Think About Relationships and What DO Men Want, Really?

  1. What is stopping men from focusing on one woman?
  2. What is stopping men from loving one woman?
  3. What is in the way of bringing men to the point where they know that there are plenty of woman out there but the One that they are with is the One and only One for life — for them?
  4. How DO men think about women?

Women need to know and to realize that not every man is out there looking for more than one woman, to be with at a time. However, if the truth were told, yes many men are out there looking for just that.

  1. Men love to hunt.
  2. Men get excited about even the possibility of a booty call (s).
  3. Men love changing up from one complexion to the next. From one size to the next. From one shape to the next. From one fluffy to the next fluffy. From one set of breasts to another and the list goes on.
  4. Men get tired of the same old, same old. In the course of a day a man gets tempted by so many women. So at some point in his mind, he begins to put together his dream girl. His fantasy woman. His, if I had her for one night kind of woman. His boy, what I would do to her and with her right now, kind of woman.
  5. Men don’t like it when they are with women who constantly beat up on them verbally. They tend to use that as a tool or weapon to say, that that is what drives them to be with another woman. They search or expect to be with a woman who is kinder or, sweeter or, should I say that doesn’t know them/him all that well, and therefore; they wouldn’t know or have a clue what they are getting into.
  6. Men get frustrated easily.
  7. Men see other women and want to: 1) be with them 2) have sex with them 3) touch them 4) hold them 5) get down and dirty with them and 5) tell other men that they were with someone who was booty-li-cious, just for the fun of it; or the joy of it; or the wild thing that it was.



If a man was really going to be honest, here is what he would say: “After 3 or 4 times of having good sex or wild sex with a woman, he is ready to move on and try someone else”. Women please calm down and listen for a minute. Oftentimes, it has nothing to do with you. It is just how he is wired; right or wrong. Wrong though it is and wrong it will be! Even God Himself said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). In other words, God said that, He would make a help meet (fit for him) for the man. He did not say, help meats (lots of female skins — soft and tender, good flesh and more ladies than a man could handle).

When you ask yourself the question: Why do men cheat? Well, why do they? Is it because the one didn’t satisfy him enough? Or, for as good as it was, or as good as it is, he just felt like he needed to be with someone different the next time. And the next time! And the next time! And again, it had nothing to do with you. It is his issue and stuff to sort out and not yours.


Well, just maybe, we have stumbled upon one of the answers. When it comes to women, men do more feeling than they do thinking. Thinking then many times becomes or is an afterthought. Feelings can get you in or lead you into lots of trouble.

For example:

  1. A man sees a woman
  2. Pursues a woman
  3. Decides what he would like to do with a woman
  4. Begins to see in his mind what he can feel, touch, enjoy, work with and handle that the woman has and that he wants to have
  5. Makes moves with his words and plans for his words to become actions. He gets even more intensed once he knows that she is also interested in him. The woman doesn’t have to be interested forever, just for the night or a couple of nights or a fling or a once in awhile affair.



Men are very strong in the area of their feelings but it is not their emotional feelings, instead it is there sensual and sexual feelings.

  1. He feels that this woman has something that he wants.
  2. He feels that this woman has something that he can get.
  3. He feels as though this woman is just as attracted to him as he is to her or that a little is better than nothing at all.
  4. He feels that what he sees has caused him to get a rise (erection), and that the night will be a good night, if she works with him or goes along with him.
  5. He feels that, what he can do for her, will be far more than what any man has ever done for her.
  6. He feels that they can go anywhere and make a night of it.
  7. He feels good about what he sees, and therefore, is not thinking that he will be rejected at a certain point.
  8. He feels like playing, talking, eating a meal, getting some drinks, buying something and anything else that will help him to get some (sex that is). When? The very night that he is with her.

All of this is for and about one woman but the same thing could be done that night, the next night, a couple of nights, a week or a month with a different woman or women.

Oftentimes and more often than not, it is not about you (the woman)!



  1. Are men wrong for thinking this way?
  2. Are men hurting their chances of a long term or long lasting relationship with a good woman for being like that?
  3. Why do men continue like this when, women are constantly getting the short end of the stick, hurt, wounded and disappointed by men’s actions?


A Good Man:

  1. Wants to be with one woman
  2. Wants to work with one woman
  3. Wants to grow to understand one woman
  4. Wants to take what he is and what he has and enjoy his life with one woman
  5. Wants to stay focused on who it is that he is coming home to every night
  6. Wants to be an example for his children and family
  7. Wants to learn the power of being with One and the good that can come from it

But he is in a love, sex, power and control Battle Zone! Meaning at some point he has to realize — hopefully armed with our relationship advice — that being with more than one woman:

  1. Causes more problems than it is worth.
  2. Makes him less than a responsible man and nothing more.
  3. Puts him in a vulnerable situation from beginning to end, when it comes to making rational, right and real choices.
  4. Causes his feelings to be lopsided and equivalent to a roller coaster ride that looks like lots and lots of fun, until you get on it. Then, and only then, does he experience the ride that takes him places that his stomach, his heart, his head and even his emotions were not ready for.
  5. Is not what is best for a committed relationship that is really going somewhere?



Women need to know that many men have the desire for more than one woman but it is not good, nor healthy and neither is it right – for a real relationship that is going somewhere good, positive, loving and committed. Get to know your man and get to know how he thinks, and you can begin a journey with him that could become good, great and grand! And when he reaches a point where he is ready, you can then, get the best of him and not the worse, not the immature and not the loose and getting looser. You’ll have the Right Man, for the long haul!


It’s your turn to write me a comment and tell me what you think.  Or to tell me does this match your experiences as a woman, or as a man that has to deal with this with a woman. I’m waiting!

You can get more video based training from our Project Manhood website.


Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women) he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.

He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.

Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship, Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.

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91 comments to How Men Think About More Than One Woman

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  • irishoney

    I thought this article to be wise and entertaining. I agree with all that was mentioned here. I think women need to have alot of patience if they believe what they have is love. Men do have an eternal battle to stay true to and appreciate the woman they have chose to be with and only that woman. I also believe that women should deffinately trust the gift of intuition they have. I think there are alot more women out thier who have given up on love and give into thier insecurities so they too turn to one night stands or men who don’t commit. Women do have the advantage to holding out on having sex but choose not to because they are lonely or trying to fill a void. These are the women that your man is having sex with . So I think women need to be the strong confident woman they are meant to be and then there would be less options and less temptations for men. This goes back to “why buy the cow if the milk is free “. This is very complicated especially in the times where people are dating more, marrying less or later on in life or do not want to conform to what the world says to do which is marry and procriate

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  • Owl Creek

    This web page is much too simplistic. What about the many men (me) who have that one love that they will always love. Someone who they connected with mentally and emotionally, but were also very attracted to. How often does this happen? Once, twice maybe?

    Love is not an ice cream shop. Ice cream satisfies only one or two senses. Love is all encompassing, knocks you down and keeps you coming back for more. It is not about trying one flavor, becoming bored with it, and trying another, and then becoming “responsible” and eating vanilla ice cream the rest of their life. It is about a comfort level that also feeds the soul.

    Live! Don’t believe this “fit in a perfect package” tripe. Love cannot be packaged in simplistic terms.

  • To Owl Creek: It is very interesting that you used the words “what about” because it is not only simplistic which was the intent but for many men it is about Thinking about & Loving that one woman that they can love and be with and enjoy and keep and take care of the flavor that she is for life. You missed the whole point of the blog. Read it again and see in it a woman that you are connected with mentally, emotionally and otherwise with and will always love but see her as fully loaded and not anything else. And for the record True Love is very simplistic it is people that make it difficult to have and to appreciate. It is work but good work when it comes to love. Calm down and keep your juices flowing in that one direction that you are in.

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  • noelle

    Well I agreed with it but in all honesty all it did was depress me. It reassured me that my fears of my husband wanting another woman once he becomes bored with me.
    I actually cried during one point of reading your blog: “After 3 or 4 times of having good sex or wild sex with a woman, he is ready to move on and try someone else” so what about after 2 years of good sex??
    I do not care if it has nothing to do with me. It still fuckin hurts, and still proves that men are pigs and care more about satisfying physical urges then they do about their families. I hate it, I hate whores, and I hate men, and the way they make all of us feel.

  • I hear you loud and clear and there are men that are very insensitive to their wives and families and that is not right at all. Take time and get some inner healing and relationship therapy if you can. “How Men Think About More Than One Woman at a Time” can be a reminder for you that when a wife is with the right man and husband – she is and becomes everything that he needs, wants and desires. Not so much from her perspective but from his. People and men must remember that sex is not the only thing that makes a relationship work, stay healthy and survive. Hate can hurt to and you don’t need to add to your existing hurt.

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