How Men Really Think About Cheating, Part 1
Do you attract men who cheat? Are you dating a man who cheats? Are you still trying to understand men, understand what men want, trying to make it work with a guy who is convinced that cheating is okay, and who tries to make you think that something must be wrong with you for not getting over it? Well, here is some frank relationship advice about this cheating thing and change your life.
It’s time to talk about How Men Really Think About Cheating! So many women see men as dogs and there is some truth to that. Why? Because, there are men who just run around and jump from one bed to the next bed to the next bed. There are men who have no feelings and no heart and will breakup your marriage, his marriage and then play the marriage eligibility game with someone else.
- What is this cheating thing all about?
- If a man is not in a committed relationship is it really cheating?
- Why do men cheat? Or, is the question why does your man cheat?
- When did this cheating mess start?
- Can you stop a cheating man from cheating?
- Is cheating in his genes and within his means too?
- What does cheating accomplish?
- Is there an act and an art to cheating?
- What is the goal of the cheater?
- Have men done it so well that now women are doing it in mass numbers too?
- Are women paying men back for what they did to them?
- Can a man be a cheater and a good husband, father, man, lover and friend at the same time?
Can the cheater handle it when he gets cheated on?
Well, can he?
Come on, can he?
Say it, can he?
Don’t be afraid to admit it, can he?
So, Why Do Men Really Cheat?
It is really not all that difficult or complicated to get to know why men really cheat. Really, it isn’t! Men don’t cheat because they have the skills to cheat. Men cheat because they have the will to cheat. It is will power that puts men in the cheating driver’s seat and keeps them moving. Men get caught cheating but women are an afterthought when it comes to cheating. It is only nowadays, men are paying attention to this cheat thing – only because women are the ones who have made and are making such a big deal out of it.
Here are some thoughts about why men cheat.
- It is easy to cheat
- It is the one thing that he can do, like can do, like really can do
- It is fun
- It is stupid (not a lot of thought goes into it or not much thought has to go into it)
- It is not always planned
- It is the one thing that he can say that he has not been caught yet
- It becomes necessary to remind his woman of what he is not getting from her
- It is the norm for what his father, brothers, uncles, cousins and friends have done and may still be doing
- It helps to ease his Confusion Pain – Like, what does this woman really want from me and do I really want to give it to her?
- It helps him to release at will (this means he doesn’t have to argue or fuss or wait to have sex with his wife)
- It gives him something adventurous to do and somewhere adventurous to go
- It provides a change of scenery
- It gives him the excuse that he needs to not do what he should be doing, or act the way he should be acting
- It gives him a sense of exotic fulfillment
- It means that he doesn’t have to talk a lot to his wife/woman. Instead he gets to eat, chill, watch a movie, have sex, bathe or be bathed by her (the other woman), get a massage, hopefully his feet did (not done), a smile, a laugh, a snack and then go to sleep.
- It’s dirty and nasty and freaky and sneaky and wild
- It has been told to him or he is convinced that it is his right and/or his rite of passage (he’s just continuing it)
TO A MAN:
“Cheating is the other side of the world that
he gets to run to as often as he can!”
What women need to hear!
Men are not born to cheat instead they get out there and do it and then they acquire a taste for it!
If he can cheat then he can tell himself that he:
- Doesn’t have to argue
- Doesn’t have to be nagged
- Doesn’t have to answer a whole lot of questions
- Doesn’t have to be constantly accused of stuff (even if he is doing it or even if he is not)
- Doesn’t have to take care of the trash and stuff (the kids can do that)
- Doesn’t have to lock into all the things that are important to her (the love, bills & communication…)
- Doesn’t have to spend time with the children since mom is doing a good enough job at that
- Doesn’t have to be responsible for things that he is not in the mood for being responsible for
And he knows that cheating is just his cheaper way out, at least for a moment or at that time!
SHOULD MEN CHEAT?
Of course not!
Will Men Continue to Cheat?
Of course they will!
Will it ever reach a point where men will stop?
- Can a leopard change his spots?
- Can a horse play golf?
- Can an elephant sit in your bathtub when he is fully grown?
- Can a rabbit speak 7 different languages and eat water ice at the same time?
The day that men stop cheating is the day that they change for the better:
THE OUTCOME & CONSEQUENSES OF CHEATNG
It’s like this:
- Free now but it will cost you later
- It tears you up inside but you won’t get it until it leaks on the outside
- It breaks good hearts and makes them hard
- It destroys the very things that are needed to survive in marriage and relationships
- It makes wet tears dry up like they were never there
- It ruins a good life and a good love
- It hurts the wife, the children, the family and friends
- It blurs one’s vision and prevents him from seeing the best in a relationship or from achieving it
- It puts a scar on him that can be that constant reminder of a painful past
- It can have your children thinking that it is okay to cheat and just suffer the consequences
“Cheating is for men who can’t handle what is right, good, has potential and
possibly be the best thing that has or will ever happen to them.”
And don’t worry, it’s free!
Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School, is the author of 8 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized keynote speaker, pastor, and workshop leader for men, couples and youth. His latest book is: What Men Want (The 30 Top Things Men Want from Women) he has also written Your Choice Is Your Trouble, that details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made. Darrell Made # 1 on Google’s Top 10 List for How Men Think.
He is the Training Director for Project Manhood; the former Relationship Trainer for Professional Counseling Resources in Delaware and taught their Relationship Makeover Program and other dynamic courses.
Darrell has trained and spoken to thousands of men throughout the country and even helped to bring one conference from 300 to 2,000 plus male participants. See his Facebook page under Right Choice, Right Relationship, Right Reasons or follow him on Twitter and Linkedin.